Saturday, June 20, 2009

Best JEE Interview Ever?


Some time ago a friend forwarded me an audio recording of an interview he conducted. No names are used (except for John's), no companies are identified--to protect the (very) guilty. A few words were unintelligible. While the transcript it entertaining on its own, when read along with the audio it may actually kill you. Here's the audio.

Update update... meeaaah update!

N: We're going to move on to Struts questions, I see that you've done some Struts here?

S: Yeah.

N: Okay. Ah have you used Struts 2 at all?

S: Yeah yeah Struts 2.

N: Ah, can you tell me a key difference between Struts 1 and Struts 2?

S: Umm mmmah Struts umm mahhh in Struts 2 mmmahh ahhh is ah Struts 1 is implemented using MVC-1 architecture whereas in Struts 2 ahhhh ah is basically defined and ah ah improved version of the Struts 1 ah which defines um which is defined by MVC-2 or model 2 architecture.

N: Isn't ah model 2 architecture just using servlets and JSP, as opposed to...

S: Yeah.

N: ... C... GI?

S: Mmm ah CGI also inserted into Struts 2.

N: Oh. Okay. Um... if I have... Have you ever seen... Are you familiar with ah wizards in the Windows OS?

S: Yeah.

N: Okay. If I had to do the same thing on a website where I have a tax form but I don't want to collect all thirty pieces of information at once, I want to collect five pieces of information at a time and then submit at the end after showing a user a a uh confirmation page that redisplays all the information they added, how can I collect five pieces of information at a time then on the last page display all that information?

S: Nnnyeah ah that we can do by nyehhh specific uh amounts of um nehh we can call ah mm nn eh we can call the uh servlet engine in such a way that uh one way we neuh we need five uh five of something ah um we need nyeahh any number then we can also ah ah nah such way nyeahtoken by token process we can do it.

N: Okay. Um... Have you used JSPs at all?

S: Yeah JS-

N: I'm sorry, I'm sorry; JavaScript.

S: JavaScript, yeah.

N: Ahhh... have you used AJAX?

S: Yeah AJAX uh I know theoretical concept and uh I just mmnnuh not the implementation in the AJAX. I know it's just ah uh uh it's nuh there is an uh jax engine in between the web server and the last ??? and web server am and the ehhh process so neh the jax engine mmm aiinh eh work uh like um ah ??? for loading the web page directly into the server um ah jax engine ah do the transaction between the data ah day data transaction um by calling in the Java ???.

N: Okay. Tell me about your work with the ah I'm I'm assuming this is Google Web Toolkit?

S: Ahhhh Google Web Toolkit I have but um Yes! Google Web euh Web Toolkit is an ahhh um just like an API which um

N: But what did... what did you do with it?

S: No ah I have not used that.

N: Umm okay it says GWT on your um

S: Yeah Google Web Toolkit.

N: But you haven't used it.

S: Uhhhhh used instance of ah just not ??? theoretical ??? and ah while developing while developing a portlet ah portlet development we have just uh eeah do uh uh time submission by mmmby implementing googling and that web Google Web Toolkit is a ready toolkit that um nyeah that ??? information which helps to develop the portal developortal.

N: Okay ummm. The last couple questions will be on SQL.

S: Sure.

N: Can you tell me the syntax for an update statement.

S: Sorry?

N: Can you tell me the syntax for an update statement.

S: Ahhhh select um eeeah insert ob ahhh ahh insert update ah hm insert update um neah table ??? ??? insert update oy ah table parameter mmm na for mmm for uhhhhm uhhhh nuh ??? ??? um by mm by inserting uh we can ah by insert mmnnyea eh insert mm Update! Update! uhm Update! table name ah nn by inserting ah some parameter name into the table. Like that neuhhh nuh up ah trigger I mean ueh the eh select star from select star from the table name neaaah nuh for to return the different parameters from the table name.

N: Okay. Um well that wraps up ahhh our portion of this; ah we'll get back in touch with... whom. Ah I don't know who got these but we'll get in touch with that person.

S: Ya sure.

J: Thank you.

S: Heaya thank you, myeah John, and thank you...

J&N: Bye.

N: He forgot my name.


Anonymous said...

lol, "He forgot my name"? WTF? I remember name of every random person i met.

Dave Newton said...

In general it's a good idea to remember the name of the person you're interviewing with.

Mark Nuttall said...

Which part did you as JEE questions? JSP?

Dave Newton said...

I don't know what you just said. If you were asking "What about the interview is JEE" then the answer is that it was for a JEE position. The questions were moderated once it became clear the interviewee didn't know anything.

Anonymous said...

This was real funny interview bits. Hope the guilty gets prepared well for his next interview with some good meat in the head than just in resume.

Ivan said...

This is so depressing and one of the reasons I need to find my way out of this industry.

I'm sure this guy formerly earned 200 dollars an hour at some huge consulting firm that onshore programmers have to fix. the businesses know how to sell this type of inadequate development and make it stick to some poor company that needs talent.

i think i'm gonna vomit.

Anonymous said...

I like the "insert mm Update! Update! uhm Update! table name ah", it just sounds amazing.

Dave Newton said...

The guys there now saw "update update myeaaaa update" all the time; I'm *still* almost reduced to tears when I play the audio. And this is from over a year ago.

Brandsmith said...

nice bit of 'reality' entertainment!
While we all have our moments, this was a disaster for that guy.I feel pity for him.

Anonymous said...

You know, I think I worked with Mr. "S" there in a previous job.

Anonymous said...

Preparation is vital and being honest is also important. No one knows everything.

Ariel Valentin said...

Dave. I fear for our profession when I hear about things like this. To think that there are people out there who consider themselves software professionals but there really isn't anything professional about them.

Ankit Garg said...

Its not very funny without the audio, but with the audio, its hilarious. The SQL answer was good, very intelligent answer indeed!! My mom started to think that I've gone insane as I was laughing so loudly ;-)

B said...

Hi, the audio file appears to be a dead link - do you have an alternative location ?

Dave Newton said...

Oops; sorry about that--I don't at the moment but will.

bentael said...

lool, Dave seriously man, repost that mp3 file. Thanks

Kyle said...

Can you PLEASE post the mp3 file for this interview? Me and my computer science buds thought this was one of the funniest things ever and need to hear it again!!! PPLEEAASSSEEE!!!

Anonymous said...

Still anxiously awaiting a repost of the interview mp3. Please don't let this gem be lost forever.

Anonymous said...

Please repost the mp3 link, it no longer works.

Anonymous said...

The mp3 doesn't work.. help!

Anonymous said...


Bentael said...

the interview was removed from youtube ! upload a copy somewhere else please.

Dave Newton said...

@Bentael Yep; I've contacted YouTube about this and gotten absolutely nothing back yet; it was a bogus copyright complaint. Will post again in multiple locations.

Bentael said...

Dave, did you get a chance to post it somewhere else ?

Eddy Pasterino said...

Dave, please don't let this gem of a recording be lost to future generations. Upload to dailymotion, viddler, and/or other sites -- even something like soundcloud. Thank you!

Dave Newton said...

@Bentael, @EddyPsterino: I've moved the interview to SoundCloud.